Moving sucks.

I bid you all a very good morning as I sit at my pc, barely able to tap the keys on my keyboard.

What's the ultimate way to erase all doubt about your strength and level of fitness? Move house. Trust me.

We moved to a new house yesterday and the moving was a fucking nightmare. You see because in my experience, the sequence of events that lead up to moving of house goes a little something like this:

1) Empty out your drawers and cupboards and be washed over with amazement at finding that one thing you were looking for weeks/years ago.

2) Say 'fuck' a couple of hundred times while trying to squeeze all your shit into a box.

3) After wiping the sweat off your face, take a deep breath seal the box and find that one sock you forgot to put in with your other clothes.

4) Say 'fuck' again and stuff said sock into your pocket.

5) Drink beer and smile.

6) Say 'fuck' and go back to packing.

7) Stub your toe/pull a muscle/scratch any part of your anatomy against any immovable object of house like wall, staircase banister etc while carrying boxes outside and say 'fuck'... but louder this time.

8) Move all furniture out of the house while feeling your muscles beg for mercy.

9) Say 'fuck' and drink energy replenisher in the form of beer.

10) Finish moving, breathe sigh of relief only to realise you forgot the one piece of furniture up stairs.

11) Say 'fuck'.

12) Finish moving and reward yourself with another beer.

This is why today I feel like I was run over with a steam roller. I am stiffer than an illiterate porn star after taking a viagra overdose. I've heard of success coming 'one step at a time' bet this is RIDICULOUS!

Ciao.

PS: WANTED: Full Body Massage so that I can stop walking like Robo Cop.

An Epiphany...

Good morning world.

It has been roughly 50 something hours since I last logged in to FB. The violent shakes have not started yet, but I feel them slowly building up, the road to recovery from addiction... *Sigh*

I had an epiphany this morning. It was quite awkward really. I am not going to go into too much detail about what made the epiphany possible, but rather the effect. I knew it all along but it suddenly became much clearer to me. Life really is too short to hold grudges and be mad all the time because in the end we are all just human and none of us are perfect. It's just a fact of life that when it comes to relationships, some people are going to hurt you and you might hurt others and most people are the same, most people don't 'intentionally' hurt anyone. But it happens.

Life goes on afterwards, you meet someone new and the cycle starts all over. If you are lucky, you will find the one person who might actually stick around and you will understand each other. If not, well then things won't work out again and you just start over. But you can't start over if you keep holding on to the shit that holds you back. It's not the next person who comes into your life's fault that you had a shitty experience with the previous person. Holding grudges and refusing to let go of the resentment is like buying a box of chocolates, eating them and then after a time realising that it made you sick. But you keep holding on to that empty box of chocolates. You keep looking at the box, imagining how much better your life would have been if you hadn't fallen sick or what you could have done if you had realised that it wasn't right for you after eating only the first piece. But the reality is, the box is empty. The contents are not there anymore, they have passed, no matter how badly you want to go back and return the box to the store and bash the store owner's head in. It won't change the fact that you have wasted your precious time with that box, enjoying what you thought was the most perfect chocolates in the world. While you keep holding onto that box, your hands are never free to find and embrace another one. Let go, throw it away. The box is empty for a reason. It's empty because you learned all there was to learn about it and it wasn't the right box for you all along, you were just too blind to see it. Too consumed with the idea that you had just got the best chocolates in the world and nothing else would change that. But that is the way life is, things change and so do people.

No matter how much you resist it, change is beyond your control. It's how you react to it that will determine the outcome of the change. Trust and believe that things happen for a reason and you will soon see that they really do and often the reason is because there is something better up ahead and the bad experience you went through was so that you could give true value to the good one that was awaiting you.

Okay enough philosophical babble.

Enjoy your weekend and to all you people who are looking for some aesthetically pleasing reading material, if you have some spare cash... do yourselves a favour and buy the new FHM... It's a Fucking Hot Magazine.

Ciao.

PS: Stay away from volcano's, they can blow up on you at any given time.

I need retail therapy... Yes therapy because of retail.

Greetings blogosphere,

The other day I stumbled upon a cure for insomnia. A job in retail. That's right, if you suffer from insomnia, get a job in retail. The moment you hit the sheets, you will be out like that piece of Evander Holyfield's ear the moment Mike Tyson spat.

Pardon me for being such a pessimist about it, but it's just I really don't like it. This job I have now is better than my previous one, but retail is a lot like sugar coating a piece of shit. No matter how many coats you use in however many different colours, at the core of things, it's still a piece of shit.  You need to be as patient as a fisherman trying to catch fish in a puddle to crack it in retail. You need to be an extreme extrovert and willing to bend over backwards to please your unrelentingly demanding customers. I am patient, but not that patient. I am as extroverted as a hermit crab between two rocks(not that bad, but for purposes of imagery, exaggeration is allowed) and I don't have a particularly malleable spine, so I am certainly not the ideal candidate for a Nobel in retail.

In other news, tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. Which in the church marks the beginning of Lent which lasts for 40 days. It is not compulsory to do this, but it is encouraged that we give up something for 40 days, something we enjoy a lot and something that will make a big difference to our lives if we don't have it, as a type of fasting to honour Jesus. So, I have been pondering what I should give up this year... Last year I gave up jack shit. the year before, I gave up fizzy drinks(beer included.) I lived on water for 40 days!!! This year, I want it to be different. I want to give up something that is going to make a HUGE difference to my life... Not sure yet and I know I only have roughly 14 hours to decide, but I am thinking about giving up Facebook. *SHOCK AND HORROR AS BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND*

How will I survive without logging in to FB for the next 40 days? I don't have a clue. But I faced the same dilemma when I gave up fizzy drinks and guess what... I just typed 'guess what' like three words and three dots ago. So I will be alright. If I decide to do it. Plus, if I ever feel the need to detox my cortex, I have this blog.

In more news, I was sitting here the other day, thinking of how to move my current piece of writing forward and then BOOM as if I was hit by a one of 'Hailey's' relatives (yes I mean the comet.) A new set of characters just popped into my head, I have strung a back story for them and have jotted down about five or six pages already. And so my list grows by one... The big question remains though? Which one of these potential 'books' will be my meal ticket out of retail???

I read in the GQ magazine (AKA the little brother of the FHM which makes one half of the double volume 'life manual for the single man') that you shouldn't use the word 'Ciao' in any kind of writing unless you are Italian.

Ciao.

I am not Italian, but I am not too far off, so to the GQ writer of that article: Oops. *shrug*


Have a good one, fellow cyberlings.

The signs...

Greetings all...

I realise that my contributions to this blog have been about as frequent as the visits from Hailey's Comet past earth. I know this is a shitty excuse, but I now work from 6am-9pm everyday and have two days off a month. So free time is something of a luxury now. Much to my disappointment, it is a job in retail, but hey it beats unemployment. Often in life we don't realise how blessed we are. Next time you lie in bed or you're stuck in traffic and think your life is a just a giant shit bag. Think of all the people in the world who are dying of hunger or dying of the cold because they have to sleep outside. Think of all the people who have to walk kilometers after kilometers just to fetch some water so they can drink. Always be thankful because you are just as human as everyone else and you really are blessed. So realise it, be grateful and don't just ignore that guy standing on a street corner asking you for some spare change to buy some food. Stop and think if the tables were turned because believe me they could be. Help him. It won't make a difference to your life and it will make a world of difference to his.

So having said how shitty it is to be once again surrounded by the confines of all things retail, I am thankful because at least I have a job and I am able to pay my bills. But... I must revert to the fact that I still haven't let go of my dreams of becoming a writer. I still write, much less now, but I still steal a few moments to add a page to that next manuscript... Sometimes I feel like I am chasing a pipe dream. But then I think a about what my life will be like if I do succeed. I know I must face reality and I do. But it can't be wrong to dream? It has happened... Even if only 0.00001 % of writers hit the 'bigtime' or at least get to a point where they can make a living exclusively from writing, the statistic is there and if it is there, I want to be part of it.

What sparked this sudden (and yes I know repetitious. FYI: I do have a slight, very slight case of OCD. See, I wrote 'slight' three times in one sentence) theme of my post today? We were invited to have dinner at a friend's house the other night and it reached that point where you know everyone is gathered around the table or standing in a circle and they start discussing various things about their life. What is the normal topic of discussion in situations like those? Well the topic of discussion in the circle I found myself in was jobs, careers... I saw people's faces light up as they spoke about their various achievements and aspirations in business and did listen with interest because after all I am in the field. But something in the back of my mind kept flashing. I had this incredible urge to change subject and then I thought to myself: 'Shit if I was published writer, when it's my turn to speak, I could tell them how great it is to sit at home or in the corner cafe and use my imagination to make a living.'

How do you know you are in the right career?

I'm no expert and I am not saying this is the hard fact. But from what I experienced that night... If you want to know you are in the right career, then go to a social gathering and when you are in that circle and it is your turn to speak, if you are speaking about your current career with passion and a sense of pride, then you are in the right career... If not. Then you know, I believe that is the sign. Aah... When will I find the 'write career'?

Ciao.

Have a great weekend. I will try be more consistent. I promise.

PS: Why the fuck is Anne Hathaway on this post you ask!?! Well just because I think she is the hottest thing since the discovery of fire. Plus, it's almost valentine's day... So I thought I would treat myself to some eye candy.

Can I be foreward?

Yello fellow cyber junkies.

What brings me here today? A little bit of boredom and a lot of urge to just spill my thoughts in the form of written/typed words.

A whole lot of skin has brought me to the fore. Yes, the extraction of foreskins. I don't know if I have mentioned circumcision on my blog before and quite frankly my advanced level of laziness prevents me from going back to check. But it was just a thought that came to my mind this morning. I know that it is part of various cultures and religions and I respect that. But circumcision just scares the piss out of me, I wouldn't do it ever, unless it needs to be done for health reasons.

I don't like cruising around naked, so why would I subject my 'mini-me' to nakedness?

Imagine how a penis feels when you deprive it of head gear?

Most men will agree with me when I say that baldness is something we would rather not have to deal with. I mean with saggy muscles and tufts of grey coloured hair growing in all sorts of places happening simultaneously, the last thing we need to brutalise our youthful looks is an unrelenting bout of alopecia. So why subject your dick to a life of permanent 'baldness'?

In cases where scalpels are used, I am a FIRM believer in, 'if it aint broke... don't fix it.'

Plus, what would Darth Vader be without his helmet? ;)

Have a good weekend all and remember, don't drink and drive... get a designated driver.

Ciao.

Passion...

Saturday morning here, John Mayer playing on the radio, the engine of my computer running at a near silent volume. Just another day in the office.

I read a blog this morning about kettlebells. For those of you who might not know what kettlebells is, it has nothing to do with tea or coffee. It is a training program which involves these weights that look like dumbbells, I have never done kettle bells, so I am not going to go into too much detail about it.The author of it is a girl who was in school with me, it's a great blog and you can almost see her passion oozing out of the screen as you read it. It got me thinking about my own fitness levels which are about as high as a cat's tolerance level for water. She is so passionate about what she does that as you read her blog it almost makes you want to get out there, grab a kettlebell and work on your fitness until you as strong as the incredible hulk. (Even if it means shitting your pants a couple of times first.)

Passion ladies and gentleman...

Not the kind that makes you look over and cringe the next morning when you wake up and realise you drank one tequila too many. The kind of passion that makes you want to get up every morning and do even better than the day before, the kind that makes you go to bed at night with a smile because you are happy that you done exactly what you were meant to do, what your heart desired for the day.My school colleague has it and it is very cool and inspiring to see. We all should have that kind of passion in our lives. Love for what we do. Purpose. Like the popular rhyme goes. "Butchers and bakers and candlestick makers..." It doesn't matter what you do as long as you have passion for it. I believe we are all put here to do something. But it is our job to look for that one thing that defines who we are. We can either find it by accident or search for it till we find it. But once we found it, it is our job to keep working at it until we achieve what we want in life.

Well, as I strive and wait, strive and wait... I will not ever give up.
So as I sit here, doing my job, I think, I dream and I strive... In the words of John Mayer I am
"Waiting on the world to change..."

Have a great weekend all and don't get hit by a bus.

Ciao.

Where's the red carpet? Where's the champagne?

Greetings...

Yes fellow internet junkies, I am still alive, I wouldn't say well though because I have been beaten into slight submission by the might of influenza. But otherwise still breathing, swearing and doing all things that are essential for the existence of a 27 year old singleton.

Why the long absence?

Well, I have moved. I left the town that witnessed my plunge from puberty into adulthood and moved 1300 km away and now live in a coastal town. As I wake up each and every morning, I can almost smell the hint of wet sand and shark breath. A sweet reminder of the new beginning that I so badly yearned for. I am happy that I left, the unfortunate events of my past were hanging over me like a ghost, constantly haunting me at every turn. I can now officially say I have left all that behind. I thank God for this wonderful blessing everyday.

Career wise... I am STILL in retail!!! Much to my dismay, it is like retail is fused somewhere in my DNA. I have a better job now(comes standard with an office and everything.) If my math teachers ever find out I have a job in an office of a retail store, doing the admin... They will have a fit. So yes, new job, new home, new town, new faces... Thank God. But my dreams? They still remain very much in tact.

I still want to write and write and write, until I reach that point where I can make a living from it... in either way or form. But with a 6am - 9pm job. My free time is now very diminshed. But as they say, where there is a will there is a way.

Ciao.

PS: I don't know if it's because I am nearer to the sea... But the eye candy here is TOP CLASS! Never before have I believed that there are PLENTY of FISH in the sea like I do now. Mmm... I'm loving this place and therefore christen it 'Babeville'.